


Serenity

by cloudnine



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, but i mean he is lol, i make zero so sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-21 13:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6054202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudnine/pseuds/cloudnine





	Serenity

He loves watching him sleep. He loves the image of his precious husband looking relaxed without worries as he sleeps in their bed with his body exposed to him, as intimate as it could be. He doesn't mean to do this, his mind sometimes wanders off and he gets horrible dreams that make him shoot awake and stare at his husband to calm down. He doesn't want Kamui to worry about him so he never tells him. He's cured afted a few minutes if he watches Kamui sleeping soundly.

Tonight it seemed his piercing gaze was noticeable as he sees the prince's eyes open slowly.

"Ah, Zero. You're still awake." His husband perches himself up with his elbows to look at his face. Zero merely smiles at how sleepy the man still looked.

"Couldn't sleep. I hope you didn't mind me watching you for a while."

The prince furrows his eyebrows and places his hand on his. "Of course not, we're _married._ You're allowed to look at me."

Zero chuckles but he feels his stomach turn with butterflies whenever Kamui said they were married. It made him feel so adored and loved, something he would have never dreamt of happening in the past. Kamui has no trouble voicing to people that Zero is his husband. He couldn't believe that he was supposed to be the brash one but Kamui had no shyness regarding vocing their relationship, even though people might look down upon him for marrying a servant. He never tells Kamui that, he knows he hates when he calls himself a servant but that's what he was, at least until Kamui accepted his proposal.

The man's shining red eyes were visible even in the dark room and he can never stop gazing at them, it was as if those eyes stole his soul the first time he saw them. And he was sure they did.

Meeting Kamui in that battlefield and seeing how his eyes lit up in thankfulness at getting reinforcements stirred something inside him. He didn't want the man to look at anybody else; Which is a lie, he loves Kamui but he wouldn't bound him to himself. He couldn't deny he wanted Kamui all for himself deep down and that he felt jealousy when he spoke to people he was closer to, like his long forgotten knight friend and the Hoshidan ninja. He told himself he was just jealous because Kamui was a royal and deep down he still felt animosity towards them, but it wasn't until they spoke and became friends that Kamui smiles at him and he realized: "I'm in love with this man."

"Zero." The knowing whisper that wakes him up from his dreaming allows him to focus back on the now, to the man he loved the most laying next to him with his eyes weary and his hair tussled up. He looked so serene, he always did, but he felt like he especially did when he was here next to him with no thoughts regarding the war.

He grabs a hold of his dearest's hand and places it on his cheek. "Yes, my love?"

He sees Kamui smile and the visible flush in his ears whenever he called him things like that, which he only did when they were alone. It was a mutual decision they had made that turned their married life that the more intimate, and they both loved it.

"You seem distracted. Is that why you couldn't sleep?"

He trails his fingers down the man's hand as he thinks of an answer. He's always honest to him, but he didn't want to worry him with his troubles, especially when he looked so calm.

"Just reminiscing about the past. Not the past long forgotten, but the past that lead us to this." He whispers touching the man's ring in his finger. He didn't understand why Kamui wouldn't take it off, even when he slept he always had it on. Like he wanted to show everyone, even if there was no one around, that Zero had gifted him with that ring.

He notices the sudden expression in Kamui's face, mild worry. Exactly what he didn't want to do. 

"Is that all? There's no reason to think about that stuff unless you want to remember our first instances together like I always do." There's a shy turn of his lips that always makes Zero want to hold him close and protect him.

"You should rest, love." Zero says letting go off his hand and his chest aches at that, even though Kamui is right besides him. He hates having to let go even in the most petty instances.

The dragon prince yawns, rubbing his eyes. He was such a beauty and Zero couldn't help being giddy about the fact that he was the only person who saw Kamui like this. His siblings would be jealous, and he knows some of them are. The prince was so loved by everyone, but his eyes were set on him, a man with a dirty past and reputation.

He thinks he will never get over it.

There's a kiss being placed on his cheek while he's looking away deep in thought, he had expected his husband to have listened to him but instead he was there staring at him, pleading with his restless eyes.

"You should sleep too. I'll hold you and kiss you if you get any nightmares, and make them go away."

Zero can never find the words to respond to how sweet this man was so he kisses him fully on the lips, the same song and dance they have done a thousand times. A dance he never wanted to end. 

He makes sure to kiss him with such tenderness so that the man can understand his feelings without him having to tell him. It was still too hard for him to express his truest feelings towards him in words, he only ever did in loving touches and gazes. He was lucky that this was Kamui, and he understood him perfectly. The only person who had ever given him genuine appreciation and love. 

He didn't mean to do this tonight but his feelings grew tired of being bottled up and he felt he finally had to let it out.

"Kamui I-" He stopped kissing him and the man stayed still gazing at him in total focus waiting for him to speak.

"I love you so much." The words sound lackluster and typical but he means them, and he wants Kamui to truly understand. He knew he was looking differently at him, a look only Kamui ever saw. Zero without the mask of smugness and rudeness he allowed other people to see. His genuine, deeper, softer side that was scared of being left alone, of being treated badly by other people. Of never finding love in this cruel world.

"I wish I could express this better, and you already know I love you." He sees Kamui nod. "And that you love me. But it...it means so much to me that you came into my life, Kamui." He tries to look at Kamui completly, to take the scene present right now and engrave it in his memory. He wishes he could look at Kamui with both his eyes.

"You saved me." He just ends as he slumps his shoulders down and feels like he has never exposed himself as much as he did now. He never cared about anyone's opinion about him, except for Kamui's. 

He expects the hands that trails over his face and make his skin burn. The tragic expression Kamui held is not what he wanted to see him with, he wanted to see Kamui happy, smiling and cheerful with no worries. It had been so long ago since he decided he never wanted to see Kamui in pain.

"Zero, Zero..." The man's voice is course and he notices the tears forming in his eyes before he can reach his face and ask him why, why he was crying when he didn't want him like this. He wanted him to be happy. Why did he always make the people he loved sad.

"Kamui please, I'm sorry. I don't want to see you sad, I hate seeing your face like this. You're not a person who deserves to be sad. You bring hope to all of us."

He feels his own eyes watering, and he should be shocked because he hasn't cried since he was a child but he's so focused on Kamui that he forgets himself.

His red eyes are focused on his eye and he wants to look away because this was one thing Kamui still hadn't seen about him, nobody had. He didn't cry. Goes to show how vulnerable Kamui made him.

Even so, he always thought crying meant pain, sadness, anger. He was crying but he didn't feel any of those things, he felt like he was letting so many emotions he had hidden inside out. And Kamui had tears in his eyes but he was smiling, smiling as he kissed his face, his eye, his ears and all the parts Zero wasn't proud about. 

When Kamui speaks he realizes he forgot he could even hear in the first place.

"I'm glad. Glad to hear you speak those words even though I already knew them. We don't have to speak things in words since we understand each other well enough, but it's still a relief that you could let some of your pain out. You don't know how much it worries me to see you lock your self away, even when we are kissing or making love you still find a way and I don't want to pry into matters that don't pertain to me but I want to help you, help you move on and forget. Because you also saved me, Zero. You give me a reason to fight and want to help people. Because everyone deserves a chance."

His pale cheeks are wet but the smile in his face wouldn't falter as he pressed himself to him and absolutely adored him. 

Zero tilts his face and they kiss as deep as they can to take everything they are allowed to from each other. He wants Kamui's scent all over him, to be seen as his and his alone. He wishes there was a way he could connect more to him. 

He'd never expect to be in a future like his, in a home with a loving man who cared about him so deeply. If he could go to his younger self and stop him from doing all those vile deeds he would, to stop the intrusive thoughts he had and tell him that everything would be fine, that he didn't have to end his life when he thought about it so much. He is glad he didn't, but he has also learned to accept that his past, even as horrible as it was, lead to him reach this point. If he had never been betrayed by his comrades and met Lord Leon he would have never met Kamui on that faithful snowy village with eyes as red as burning ash.

He wants to voice his thanks, but he knows that Kamui already knows his thankful. So he kisses him and they finally fall asleep so they can continue to fight together and protect their new life as lovers with the time they had.

 


End file.
